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Written here is the full transcript of the episode "Sight for Sore Eyes" from the Nickelodeon television series Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. This transcript has been separated into three segments, indicated accordingly to the episode's commercial breaks.
[The episode opens up to Po waiting tables at Mr. Ping's Noodle Shop. Po puts a bowl on a pig villager's table.]
PO: [Sighs.] (Dismally) Here you go. [Gives the Pig Villager a bowl of soup.]
[Po begins walking away from the table.]
PIG VILLAGER: [Looks into the bowl of noodle broth.] I ordered the pan-fried noodles!
[Po turns back to the table.]
PO: And I brought you... Soup! Aww, I can't get anything right! Everything I touch turns to garbage! I'm useless, and I'm worthless, and my personal grooming is mediocre at best! [Shoves his armpit in the pig's face, to her dismay.] Ohh! [Walks away.]
[Mr. Ping approaches the customers.]
MR. PING: Oh, I'm sorry he's been like this... Well, you know.
PIG VILLAGER: Of course. How are the others doing?
MR. PING: You mean the formerly Furious Five?
[The scene cuts to Tigress standing in front of a group of kids at a birthday party. Tigress is wearing a head band with bunny ears on it.]
BIRTHDAY KID: C'mon it's my birthday!
MONKEY: Tigress c'mon the kids!
[The kids stare at Tigress, waiting for her to do something]
TIGRESS: (Monotonously) You cannot defeat me and my magical talking carrot. [Holds up Viper dressed as a carrot.]
VIPER: I'm sassy.
MOTHER: Kids! Cake!
[The kids run into a house.]
KIDS: Yay! [The door is closed behind them.]
[Back at the Noodle Shop, Mr. Ping continues talking to the customer.]
PIG VILLAGER: Birthday parties?!
MR. PING: And Shifu, no one's seen Shifu for a while now... Ah, very sad. So if you could be just a little sensitive to my son's situation?
PIG VILLAGER: Of course.[Po falls and a bunch of plates are knocked over.] No wonder you're not the Dragon Warrior anymore!
MR. PING: [Gasps. Po starts whimpering and sniffling.] Get out and don't come back! [Walks away and quickly comes back.] Until after lunch, here's a coupon. [Gives the pig a coupon.]
[The scene cuts to Po holding a scroll with a picture of him and the Furious Five.]
PO: You were the Dragon Warrior, you had everything you ever wanted... and you blew it. ["You blew it" echoes.]
[Two weeks prior to the events in the opening, Po and the Furious Five are having a training session in the Training Hall, under the supervision of Shifu.]
SHIFU: [Hits his cane to the ground.] Begin.
[The Five begin performing the pose of the Pyramid of Fortitude. Tigress and Monkey take a stance on one leg while grabbing the others' arm. Crane balances on top of Tigress' and Monkey's arm bond. Viper sits on top of Crane's hat. Mantis stands on top of Viper's head. Po jumps to the top and does a handstand on Mantis.]
SHIFU: Well done. Excellent. When you...
PO: And now the spin!
[Po does a spin on top of the pyramid which causes the Five to lose their balance and the pyramid to collapse.]
PO: Not what I...
SHIFU: Po, the Pyramid of Fortitude is a traditional pose, representing stability and unity. It does not spin.
PO: [Gets up.] Yeah, but it looks so cool if I...
SHIFU: I don't care, the presentation of the Seven Forms must be done in the traditional way. [Begins tidying up the Training Hall as Po follows.] This is important Po, the masters of the Sacred Onyx Council are coming to inspect the Jade Palace. I trained with both Master Chao and Master Junjie under Oogway.
PO: Chao and Junjie,coming here, two of the greatest Kung Fu masters of all time!
SHIFU: How well you perform the presentation of the Seven Forms will be a reflection of my abilities as a teacher. I need to make a good impression, so please nobody do anything embarrassing, stupid, or dangerous!
PO: Yeah you guys be cool!
SHIFU: I mean you, Po! Don't ask for autographs, don't tell long stories, don't offer to show any of your collections, DON'T BE PO!
[Chao hits a nearby gong. A servant rolls away a small gong from Chao and Junjie.]
CHAO:And who should he be?
[Silence is present for a while. Po and Shifu stare at the two masters.]
PO: Oh my gosh, Chao and Junjie! [Po excitedly runs toward the masters with a paper.] Can I have your autographs? [Holds up a poster of Chao and Junjie.] Can I tell you long stories? [Holds up a scroll.] Can I show you my collection of beets shaped like turnips?! [Holds up a beet.]
[Chao and Junjie pass glances.]
SHIFU:Master Chao, Master Junjie please excuse Po, he's a little... excitable.
JUNJIE: You are the Dragon Warrior?
PO: Yes and you are Master Junjie! I'm so excited I could pee!
JUNJIE: Hmm, you've maintained exactly the level of discipline I would've expected from you.
PO: [Bends down to Shifu.] You can thank me later.
[Shifu scowls at Po.]
CHAO: And now, the Masters' Ceremonial Sparring.
[Shifu, Chao, and Junjie, bow to each other.]
SHIFU: Everyone, back to your quarters.
[The Five bow to Shifu and run out the door.]
PO: Ceremonial sparring? It's ancient, it's secret, and I wanna watch! Really bad. Really, really bad! Really, really, really, really...
SHIFU: Panda, this is private. Your novice eyes are not ready to see it. It's too dangerous.
PO: Ancient, secret, and dangerous. Aw, it's like you poured awesome sauce all over a big plate of bodacious!
[Shifu scowls and points out. Po sighs and slowly leaves. Po sits on the stairs to the Training Hall. Junjie comes out and stands next to Po.]
JUNJIE: Oh, don't listen to Shifu. He's always been a stick in the mud. You are the Dragon Warrior, my friend. You should see us sparring.
PO: But, Shifu said I wasn't ready.
JUNJIE: I'll tell you what, I'll leave that door open a little, so you can peek in.
[Later that night, Po excitedly runs toward the Hall of Warriors. He looks into the crease between the doors. Inside, Shifu, Chao, and Junjie are standing in a circle with their eyes closed. Junjie opens an eye, followed by Shifu opening his. The two begin sparring. Chao then joins the spar. The three fly up into the air and continue sparring. Trails of different colored light illuminate from each of the masters.]
PO: (Quietly) So awesome!
[The three continue sparring in the air for a while. They then land and Junjie jumps away. Shifu and Chao take stances. Chao jumps to a column and bounces around the room. The three begin floating and sparring again. Po continues watching from outside. The three each jump to a column. Shifu and Junjie jump toward each other until they meet and Junjie kicks Shifu, causing him to fall. Junjie lands.]
[Chao lands near Junjie.]
CHAO: Junjie, we are sparring, not fighting. Shifu is not your enemy.
[Junjie bows to Chao.]
SHIFU: It's alright. [Gets up.] I was just a little slow. [Shifu quickly runs and catches Junjie off guard, grabbing him by the hand and flipping him onto the floor.] Everyone's a little slow sometimes, right Junjie? [Junjie gets up. The two have a short standoff before Junjie begins attacking. Shifu dodges and blocks Junjie's hits.] So much anger. This is why Oogway didn't pick you to run the Jade Palace.
[Po gasps as Junjie looks over to him and begins performing a technique.]
JUNJIE: Golden Lotus Clap.
SHIFU: [Gasps.] Don't look!
[Junjie does a clap which illuminates the entire room and knocks everyone down. The light energy escapes out the door and knocks down Po.]
PO: [Sits up with his eyes widened. He rubs his eyes and blinks hard. He waves his hand in front of his face.] I-I'm blind! In my eyes!
[End of Act 1]
PO: I'm blind! Ahh! I-I can't see! [Stands up and feels around.] I'm bl--... I don't... Alright. [Hits his face on a column.] Oww! Okay, I can do this. Just gotta, you know, get to know my surroundings. [Hits his face on the same column. Falls down.] Right, that's the tree, again. [Gets up.] Alright. [Gets up and feels around. Hits his face on another column.] Ow! Alright, who keeps moving the tree?! [Feels around away from the column.] Ah, all clear! [Walks forward and falls down the stairs.]
[Back in the Hall of Warriors, Chao is surprised at Junjie for using the Golden Lotus Clap.]
CHAO: Junjie! The Golden Lotus Clap is too dangerous.
[Shifu and Chao approach Junjie.]
JUNJIE: You are right, as always, Master Chao. [Bows.] I stand in awe of your prudence and sagacity.
CHAO:We are done here. It's time for the presentation of the Seven Forms. [Hits a gong.] Shifu, bring them in.
[Shifu bows and walks outside.]
SHIFU: It is time.
[The Furious Five run up the stairs toward the Hall of Warriors. Tigress hears Po moan nearby. She walks over to a ledge and sees him laying in pain.]
TIGRESS: What are you doing down there?! C'mon. [Reaches for Po.]
PO: Wait, I have a little problem!
[Po feels around. Tigress grabs Po by the arm and lifts him up.]
TIGRESS: And I have a little I don't care!
[Tigress drags Po along into the Hall of Warriors. In the Hall of Warriors the rest of the Five stand in a row. Po and Tigress join them, though Po appears to be inattentive.]
SHIFU: I trust you will be impressed. [Bows. Po and the Five bow.] Begin.
[The Five perform the Pyramid of Fortitude quickly, but Po does not do his part on the pyramid. Everyone looks over to Po, who is stumbling around with his arms in front. Shifu laughs nervously.]
VIPER: Po, now.
PO: Wha'? Who? Okay.
[Po charges toward the pyramid. He runs into the Five, causing them to fall and break the pyramid. Shifu watches in horror at the failure. Po continues running and he jumps into the air toward Chao.]
SHIFU: Po, no
[Po land in a handstand on Chao and starts spinning, causing Chao to spin. As Chao spins, his tail repeatedly smacks Junjie in the face. Chao hits Po straight up into the air. Po comes back down and lands on Chao and Junjie. Shifu's jaw drops. Shifu approaches the two masters. Po stands up.]
PO: Ta-da! Huh?
[Shifu, Chao, and Junjie scowl Po. Chao waves his hand in front of Po's eyes.]
CHAO: He must've disobeyed you and watched us spar. Shifu! Fix him.
[Shifu walks up to Po and holds up his hands.]
SHIFU: Golden Lotus Clap.
[Shifu performs the Golden Lotus Clap. The Five shield their eyes as the light passes them. Po blinks and rubs his eyes.]
PO: I can see. I can see! [Looks to the scowling masters.] Angry, angry faces, pointed at me.
CHAO: Shifu, Shaolin is built on discipline, honor, and tradition. Here, I see none of that.
PO: It's not Shifu's fault, see I was watching you guys sparring...
CHAO: If you disobeyed Shifu, it is his fault. It means he is unable to maintain discipline. [Turns to Shifu.] What do you have to say for yourself?
SHIFU: I... Nothing.
CHAO: I am sorry. [Walks in front of Shifu and Junjie. Junjie smiles while glaring at Shifu.] As hierarch of the Sacred Onyx Council, I hereby declare that Shifu is no longer the master of the Jade Palace.
[A servant hits a gong. Shifu is horrified, but does nothing against his master's decision. The Five are surprised as well.]
PO: You can't do that!
SHIFU: Silence! You dare address the most venerable Master Chao with such disrespect?! Haven't I taught you anything? [Pauses for a while and looks away from Po.] No, I haven't. Master Chao is right, and I accept his judgment.
[Shifu passes the Five as he approaches the exit.]
MONKEY: It's not true. Master Shifu...
CRANE: It can't be!
MANTIS: But, Shifu...
SHIFU: [Stops and turns around.] As will you! Now, do as Master Chao and Master Junjie command you. Do not disgrace me! [Turns around.] Anymore than I have disgraced myself.
[Shifu exits the Hall of Warriors. The Five pass glances. Po looks down in sorrow. Later, the group gathers outside in front of the Hall of Warriors.]
CHAO: Shifu is gone. I am placing the Jade Palace in the hands of Master Junjie.
PO: Uh, but...
[Tigress nods in disapproval at Po. Po turns back to the masters.]
CHAO: I expect you to return the palace to it's former glory.
JUNJIE: [Bows to Chao.] I'll return it to even greater glory as befits you, Master Chao.
CHAO: [Turns to Po and the Five.] Hence forth, you are bound by honor to obey Master Junjie. [Po and the Five gasp.] I'll be back to check on your progress. [Bows to Po, the Five, and Junjie, they bow back.] Good day to you all. [Walks away.]
CRANE: Uh, so, what should we do now?
JUNJIE: Get out! [Points away.]
PO AND FIVE: What?!
[End of Act 2]
JUNJIE: Get out!
[Po raises his fist. Tigress stops him. Five leopards surround Junjie.]
JUNJIE: Your services are no longer required. Meet the new Furious Five.
[The leopards take stances. Tigress glares at Po.]
[Tigress walks away, the rest of the Five follow. Junjie and his students enter the Hall of Warriors.]
JUNJIE: [Laughs.] Let me know if you need a letter of recommendation.
[The doors to the hall are shut. Po growls and turns around to descend the stairs. He catches up to the Five.]
PO: C'mon guys! We can take 'em if we all work together.
MONKEY: Didn't you hear what Shifu said? He told us to obey Master Junjie.
VIPER: He's in charge now. If we fight him, it's like we're fighting against the Jade Palace.
MANTIS: It would be the ultimate dishonor. We'd be left with nothing.
PO: But, what're we left with now?!
CRANE: We have our dignity.
[Po trips and falls down some stairs. He lays flat. Tigress stares down Po.]
TIGRESS: You did this, Po. You disobeyed Shifu and destroyed what we've all devoted our lives to building. We're through with you. [Walks away.]
PO: But, I'm sorry!
MANTIS: Nice. [Leaves.]
[Two weeks later, Po is in his room looking at the scroll of him and the Five. He sniffles.]
MR. PING: Po, Po! [Po quickly puts the scroll away.] I need you to make a delivery [Comes up Po's latter.] to the Jade Palace. Won't that be fun?
[Po chuckles halfheartedly. The scene transitions and Po is arriving at the top of the stairway at Jade Mountain. He is carrying a tray of noodles. He walks up to the doors to the Hall of Warriors and listens in on a conversation. Inside, one of Junjie's Leopard Students is looking at a scroll with a to-do list.]
JUNJIE: [Laughs.] Very nice, [The camera pans, revealing a large tapestry of Junjie defeating Shifu.] really captures my essence.
STUDENT: So, the tapestry is approved then?
STUDENT: And the statue?
[The camera pans revealing a statue of Junjie defeating Shifu.]
STUDENT: The topiary bushes?
[The camera pans revealing a topiary bush in the shape of Junjie defeating Shifu.]
STUDENT: The teapot?
[The camera pans revealing a teapot with an image of Junjie defeating Shifu.]
STUDENT: Then there's only one item left on your to-do list, Master Junjie.
JUNJIE: Destroy Shifu. [Po accidentally bumps on the door from outside, but he is unheard and tries to remain quiet.] I thought I'd never get around to that. Tomorrow, bring Shifu up from the catacombs.
PO: (Quietly) Shifu's still here?!
[Po bumps into the door, and this time, Junjie is alerted. Po tries to remain quiet. Junjie snaps his fingers, commanding his students to open the door. Two students open the door, only to find a tray of noodles.]
STUDENT: [Grabs the noodles and enters.] It's only the Noodle Shop delivery.
[The camera pans up, revealing Po hiding on the ceiling between some support beams.]
JUNJIE: Soon, I will be the rightful ruler of this province. [Laughs. A leopard brings him the noodles.] Ooh, garlic chow mein. [Laughs loudly.]
[Down in the catacombs, Shifu is shackled, he sighs. The next morning, Po gets back to the Noodle Shop.]
MR. PING: [Cutting vegetables.] How was the delivery?
PO: [Runs inside.] Bad!
MR. PING: What, no tip?
PO: Junjie has Shifu and he's gonna destroy him!
MR. PING: The fiend... So, no tip?
PO: I-I gotta get the Furious Five back together and rescue him.
MR. PING: Ha, good luck with that.
PO: They'll listen to me! [A montage of Po going to meet each of the Five begins. He first meets Viper through a doorway.] Will... [Viper slams the door. He meets with Monkey through a window.] ...you... [Monkey shuts the windows. He meets with Mantis through a window.] ...just... [Mantis shuts the window. He meets with Crane.] ...listen... [Crane hides behind a wooden panel. He meets with Tigress through a doorway.] ...to me! [Tigress slams the door. End of montage. Back at the Noodle Shop, Po rubs his nose in pain.] Oh, you're right, they'll never listen to me. So I'm just gonna have to do it alone. [Takes a stance.]
MR. PING: Alone?! Oh, Po, it's impossible. You can't beat Junjie and those five creepy leopard guys!
PO: They are creep, aren't they?
MR. PING: And I hear one of them's a girl. But which one? Which?
PO: That doesn't matter.
MR. PING: [Chuckles.] Oh, it matters to her.
PO: No, I mean, it doesn't matter if it's impossible! Shifu's life is at stake. I have to try! [Runs out the door. He eventually arrives at the Jade Palace. He sneaks around a guard and enter the Hall of Warriors. He sneaks around, but he is soon spotted by Junjie.] Oh, hey Junjie, I was just uh, pickin' up some stuff I left here, you know. I mean, you seen a brown duffle bag, kinda looks like... [Lets out a yell and takes a stance.] Enough chitchat! I know you've got Shifu here and I'm here to bust him out.
JUNJIE: Admirable! [Walks forward.] Since you unwittingly helped me trick Chao into giving me the Jade Palace. [Stops.] Not that it's hard to trick that doddering old fool.
[Chao let's his presence be known by hitting a gong.]
PO: Master Chao!
CHAO: That "doddering old fool" has come to check on your progress, Junjie.
JUNJIE: Luckily, I prepared for that.
[A dart is fired at Chao's head, but he catches it. Without warning, several darts come from behind Chao and hit him in the back. Chao falls forward.]
PO: No! [Runs over to Chao.] Master Chao!
[Po lifts Chao's head. He weakly opens his eyes.]
JUNJIE: Poor panda.
[Junjie kicks Po in the face, knocking him out. Down in the village, the Five prepare to do another birthday party.]
FURIOUS FIVE: [Burst out of a door.] Happy birthday.
TIGRESS: Mr. Ping?
[Mr. Ping is revealed to be the one who called out the Five.]
MONKEY: It's your birthday?
MR. PING: It's not me, it's Po.
MONKEY: Po's birthday, and you hired us?
MANTIS: Kinda weird.
MR. PING: No! It's Shifu!
CRANE: Shifu's birthday was two months ago.
MR. PING: No! Junjie!
MR. PING: Just let me finish! Junjie is holding Shifu prisoner, and Po went the Jade Palace to rescue him, all alone. You have to help him.
TIGRESS: [Wearing bunny ears.] Ha, help Po? After what he did? Are you serious?
MR. PING: Would you mind taking off those ears?
[Tigress takes off the bunny ears.]
CRANE: He prob'ly just made that up about Shifu, I mean, Junjie is a Shaolin master.
[Mr. Ping grabs Crane by the beak.]
MR. PING: Listen to me limp-beak! My son may be not perfect. He may be big and loud and clumsy and annoying and impatient and hotheaded and... Er, where am I going with this?
MANTIS: But he's not a liar.
MR. PING: [Lets go of Crane's beak.] Right!
[Tigress and Crane exchange glances in uncertainty.]
MANTIS: I say, let's do this. [Takes a stance.]
[Po wakes up chained in the catacombs. Shifu and Chao are shackled to a nearby wall.]
SHIFU: Oh, good, my rescuer is here.
[Po runs toward Shifu and Chao, but the chain prevents him from nearing them and be falls.]
PO: I'm sorry Shifu.
SHIFU: [Pauses.] No, I'm sorry.
SHIFU: I suspected that Junjie was up to something, I thought I could handle him myself.
[A 2-D animated flashback sequence begins. Shifu.]
SHIFU (VOICE OVER): So I pretended to leave, and returned later to confront him.
[Shifu arrives at the Jade Palace. He encounters Junjie and they begin fighting.]
SHIFU (V.O): Junjie fought without honor.
[Junjie snaps his fingers, calling forth his students. The leopards pounce and swarm Shifu. End of 2-D flashback.]
SHIFU: I was beaten. Po, I always faltered you for not following tradition. For, sometimes, ignoring the old rules. But if I'd been like you, maybe we wouldn't be here.
PO: I think we all learned an important lesson here.
SHIFU: Yes, I suppose we...
PO: Like I learned how to do the Golden Lotus Clap!
[Po performs the Golden Lotus Clap, breaking his chain. The clap shakes the Hall of Warriors and Junjie and his students are alerted.]
CHAO: You learned the Golden Lotus Clap after seeing it only once? Incredible!
PO: [With his eyes widened.] Yeah, I'm what they call "gifted".
SHIFU: You forgot to close your eyes, didn't you?
PO: I'm also what they call "blinded".
[Shifu and Chao pass glances. Up In the Hall of Warriors, Junjie becomes aware of his prisoners attempt to escape.]
JUNJIE: [Gasps.] That came from the catacombs! We can't let them escape!
TIGRESS: Hello, Junjie.
[The Furious Five arrive.]
[The leopards take stances, followed by the Five. The two groups fight. Junjie arrives in the catacombs.]
JUNJIE: I can't believe it! Did you actually blind yourself?
PO: [Feels around.] Yeah, I like to give things my own personal... twist.
[Junjie laughs and does a flying kick toward Po. In the Hall of Warriors, the Five continue fighting the leopards. Tigress fights one of the leopards one-on-one and is easily able to defeat him. In the catacombs Junjie continues easily beating the blinded Po.]
JUNJIE: You're and impressive fighter. You might even stand a chance against me, if you could see.
[Po feels around and burns his hand on a torch.]
PO: But how about if you couldn't!
[Po kicks at the torch, extinguishing it and making it dark. In the Hall of Warriors, Crane fights a leopard one-on-one. Crane blocks several hits and hits the leopard in the face, winning the fight. Back in the catacombs.]
JUNJIE: Fighting blind. An interesting challenge.
[The two circle each other for a short time.]
PO: [Sniffs the air.] But I have one big advantage.
JUNJIE: What's that?
PO: [Sniffs.] I didn't have garlic chow mein last night. [Punches Junjie.]
[At the Hall of Warriors, Monkey fights a leopard. After dodging some hits, he hits the leopard several times and wins the fight. Back in the catacombs, Junjie flies back from Po's hit, hitting a wall. He gets back up. Junjie listens for Po. He sneaks up behind Po, but Po quickly turns around and kicks him.]
JUNJIE: If I could see you, this would be over in a second.
[Junjie lunges at Po.]
PO: Oh, it's over! [Grabs Junjie as he jumps at him.]
[Po throws Junjie into the air and hits him with his belly when he comes back down. In the Hall of Warriors the Five defeat the leopards. Po is heard letting out a Kung Fu yell. The Five run toward the sound. They enter the catacombs. The blinded Po slaps Monkey when he walks in.]
MONKEY: Po, it's Monkey!
PO: [While holding Junjie.] Sorry! Blind again. Wait, you guys came to help?
CRANE: Your dad talked us into it.
PO: Hey, did you here?! For once it really isn't all my fault.
SHIFU: It's true.
PO: So, you guys smiling or what?
[The Five smile, excluding Tigress, who has a blank expression.]
VIPER: We are smiling, Po, except for Tigress.
TIGRESS: I am smiling. This is my happy face.
[Po, Shifu, the Five, and Chao gather outside the Hall of Warriors with Junjie and his leopards tied up.]
CHAO: Po, I think Shifu and I have both learned a lesson from you.
PO: Shifu learned something from me. Whoa!
CHAO: Sometimes doing the right thing is more important than following the old rules. [Shifu nods.] Master Shifu, the way your disciples handled this has proven to me that the Jade Palace could have no better leader than you. Please, accept my apologies.
[Shifu and Chao bow to one another.]
SHIFU: Thank you, Master Chao.
CHAO: [Turns and walks to Junjie.] Junjie, I'm taking you and your creepy leopards to Chorh-Gom Prison.
JUNJIE: Oh, shrewd and beneficent Chao, most merciful of all the...
[Chao holds up his foot and kicks the group down the stairs. Chao follows them as they fall.]
PO: [Blindly staring off.] So, you learned something from me, huh? Maybe now I'll get a little more respect around here.
SHIFU: Oh, of course! [Po turns to Shifu.] In fact, I now respect you so much, that I won't insult you by fixing your eyesight.
PO: What? [Shifu and the Five enter the Hall of Warriors.] Wait! [Laughs.] Okay, maybe I'm not that wise, I just... [Laughs.] I mean, okay fine, yeah go on, yeah. I don't need your help. [Approaches the stairs.] 'Cause I can do the Golden Lotus Clap all by my...
[Po stumbles onto the stairs and falls down them.]
[End of Act 3]
[End of Transcript]