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Present Tense

Episode title card

Written here is the full transcript of the episode "Present Tense" from the Nickelodeon television series Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. This transcript has been separated into three segments, indicated accordingly to the episode's commercial breaks.

Character dialogue lines were originally written by the episode's screenwriter, Doug Langdale. Descriptions shown between italicized brackets were written by contributors of this article.


Act 1

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[The episode opens up to a snow-filled Valley of Peace. Kids are throwing snowballs at each other while there is music being played by three villagers. In Mr. Ping's Noodle Shop, Po, the Furious Five, Shifu, and several other out-of-towners, prepare for the Winter Festival.

MR. PING: Ok everybody... He he... We're gonna have many, many, many people here for the winter festival feast. Lots of out-of-towners this year, like Xiao Niao, Li Tang, and Difan Lui.

XIAO NIAO: Yay! (claps her hands)

SHIFU: Welcome. Now, since we're inviting the kung fu masters here, there are going to be a lot of mouths to feed. So I'd like to thank the Furious Five for volunteering to help.

TIGRESS: I didn't volunteer.

PO: You weren't there when Shifu passed around the sign-up sheet, so I wrote your name in. You're welcome! [Walks toward Shifu and Mr. Ping.] Well, we got a lot of work to do, so lets all get to it.

MR. PING: Great! Now Po, if you could...

PO: I'm on it Dad!

[Po runs into the Noodle Shop. In his room, Po is seen carving a piece of wood. Tigress walks up.]

TIGRESS: Po? [Po gives a startled yell.] Your father needs you.

PO: Uh, just a minute. Almost done.

TIGRESS: With what?

PO: Hang on. (Grunts) This! [Po turns around holding a bent piece of wood with a dip at the end.] Every year I make my dad a Winter Festival present.

TIGRESS: A boomerang?

PO: No, it's a spoon.

TIGRESS: That's a spoon?

PO: It's a... I couldn't find a straight piece of wood, and...

TIGRESS: You guys make such a big deal about this holiday, and you're giving your dad that? [She turns and leaves.]

PO: Um, yeah. But, I mean, it took me a long time to... carve it.

MR. PING: Hey Po! I need more sesame seeds!

PO: I'm on it dad!

[Po goes to the basement and begins looking for the seeds.]

PO: Sesame seeds, sesame seeds. If I was a sesame where would I... OH MY GOSH! Dad got me the nunchuks I've been wanting forever! [He picks them up and begins practicing.] Solid silver! Perfectly balanced!

[Po continues practicing with the nunchuks until the spoon falls out of his pocket. He picks it up and compares the two gifts.]

PO: Oh man! Tigress is right. How's dad going to feel when I give him this?

[Po imagines a few scenarios of how his father might react. First he runs away, gasping and sobbing.]

[Secondly he imagines Mr. Ping insulting him.]

MR. PING: You're no son of mine! [He turns around.]

[Lastly Mr. Ping burns Po by breathing fire on him.]

PO: Oh man. Dad deserves more than my lousy, homemade spoon. I got to get him something better.

[Meanwhile, Mr. Ping is assigning jobs to everyone.]

MR. PING: Tigress and Xiao Niao, I need you to wrap up some little presents I got for everyone.

[Mr. Ping hands Tigress a box.]

XIAO NIAO: Yay! I love helping (Grabs one of the gifts off the box) Don't you love wrapping presents? It's so creative. (Giggles excitedly)

TIGRESS: We are not gonna get along.

(Po comes downstairs)

PO: Hey, Viper, I need...Whoa. Sweet necklace.

XIAO NIAO: I know, right? Don't you love it?

(Shows the necklace to Tigress)

Tigress: It looks like an old apple-core.

(Xiao Niao looks at it and laughs)

XIAO NIAO: (laughs) You're funny! (Giggles)

(Po sets down the seeds for his father)

MR. PING: Oh thank you, son. Now if you could...

PO: I'm on it Dad! (Grabs Viper) Need your help.

(The scene changes with po and Viper walk down the street where some young children are having a snowball fight.)

PO: Viper, you have to help me get my Dad a present as awesome as the one he got me. All I did was carve him a lousy spoon.

VIPER: Po, what's important about a gift, is that it comes from your heart. A handmade spoon is a lovely...(He shows her the spoon.)...Oh, wow, yeah. Let's hit the market place. (They walk into the busy marketplace.) Po, what does your Dad love more than anything else, besides you.

PO: Well, that would have to be cooking.

VIPER: So why don't we look for something cooking related.

PO: See? This is why I needed you. You are the master!

VIPER: Some chopsticks?

PO: Ahhh, to cheap.

VIPER: A bamboo steamer?

PO: He's got like three hundred of them.

VIPER: A rice baller?

PO: Naaa. (Turns and sees a 'Wok shaped thing') (Collective sigh) It's beautiful. It's the most beautiful Wok shaped thing I've ever seen. It's perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Dad will love this. How much is it?

SALESMAN: For you, Five hundred Yuan.

PO: FI-FI-FI-FI-FIVE HUNDRED YUAN!!! Do I look like someone who has five hundred yuan?

SALESMAN: No sir you do not. Could I interest you in some preowned chopsticks?

PO: Where am I going to get...

HU: Five Hundred Yuan! Five hundred Yuan reward for the capture of this escaped convict.

PO: Constable Hu, can I see that?

HU: Certainly Dragon Warrior. I'd go after the scoundrel myself, but I have seemed to have developed aaaaaaaa bit of a paper cut.

VIPER: (Gasps) It's Shengqi. He's a kung fu master from Muchang Township . They say he could have been one of the greatest ever. Shengqi is definitely not someone you want to mess with, Po.

PO: Maybe not. But my dad deserves an awesome winter festival present. I'll do it.

HU: Excellent sir! Best of luck to you.

VIPER: Po, are you sure about this?

PO: That wok ain't gonna buy itself. Next stop, Muchang township.

(Scene changes to Muchang township. Po walks up.)

PO: Okay. This is either Muchang township or the south sea. (He sees a goat.) Excuse me, is this Muchang?

GOAT: Why yes it is. You here for the winter festival feast?

PO: Well I...

GOAT: Hey everybody! We got company! (Chattering)

COMING SOON

Act 2

Coming soon!

Act 3

Coming soon!

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