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Written here is the full transcript of the episode "My Favorite Yao" from the Nickelodeon television series Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. This transcript has been separated into three segments, indicated accordingly to the episode's commercial breaks.
Character dialogue lines were originally written by the episode's screenwriter, Joshua Hamilton. Descriptions shown between italicized brackets were written by contributors of this article.
[The episode opens up with Shifu looking through a spyglass from in front of the Training Hall. Shifu searches until he spots a caravan. The caravan consists of an escort with several goats carrying a meditation box.]
SHIFU: Oh, there he is! The master, he's coming!
[Shifu jumps with excitement.]
PO: Master Shifu!
[Po looks at Shifu through the other end of the spyglass, startling him.]
PO: Master Shifu, you okay up there? You seem a little... giddy.
[Po and the Furious Five look at Shifu from the Training Hall courtyard.]
SHIFU: That's ridiculous, I'm not "giddy". How could I be? Everyone, Master Yao is about to arrive, and this place is nowhere near perfect.
[Shifu proceeds down the steps and stops to look at one.]
SHIFU: Crane, why is there a footprint on this step?
[Crane flies next to Shifu.]
CRANE: That's your footprint.
[Shifu walks further down the stairs.]
SHIFU: Stop making excuses. The keeper of the secrets of Kung Fu cannot enter on dirty stairs.
[Shifu enters the Training Hall.]
SHIFU: (To Mantis) How come this door is squeaking?!
[Shifu looks at a plant in the courtyard.]
SHIFU: Why isn't this plant blooming?!
[Shifu motions toward a mess of weapons in the Training Hall, as well as two tangled Seven-Talon Rings. Shifu also motions toward piles of dirty bowls in the dining room.
Po, Shifu, and the Five meet at the courtyard.]
SHIFU: Master Yao is being transported from his meditation tower to a new home. And his stop over here is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Nothing can go wrong.
MANTIS: What could go wrong with a guy who never leaves his box?
PO: Ha-ha, ah, box... I don't get it.
SHIFU: When Master Yao travels, he stays in a box the entire time, to avoid any distractions.
PO: A box. Like a box box? The entire time?
PO: Right. Why is that now?
SHIFU: Master Yao has the greatest Kung Fu mind this world has ever known.
[A 2-D animates sequence begins. A young Master Yao floats above a scroll.]
SHIFU (Voice Over): He was the only one ever to unlock the mystery of the Secret Scroll, and he did it at the age of five.
[Golden Chinese text raises out of the scroll. Yao cuts a plant.]
SHIFU (V.O.): At six he invented pruning, and became one of the few people that really understood how an abacus worked.
[Yao fiddles with a abacus.]
SHIFU (V.O): But with a great mind, came great sacrifice.
[A small crowd claps for Yao. Yao sits in deep meditation.]
SHIFU (V.O.): He spent a lifetime meditating, alone, with no contact to the outside world, and he became the keeper of the secrets of Kung Fu. In his mind, Master Yao holds unimaginable knowledge, and the power of the universe!
[A glowing silhouette of Yao performs several stances. End of 2-D animated sequence.]
SHIFU: This is why he is under constant threat of kidnapping. Some would stop at nothing to get the secrets in his... brilliant, beautiful brain.
[Po and the Five stare silently at Shifu.]
SHIFU: This is why we must remain vigilant, alert, composed.
[The doors to the courtyard open.]
SHIFU: He's here!
GOAT: Where shall we put the master's box?
SHIFU: My room!
[Shifu looks over to Po and the Five, who remain composed.]
SHIFU: Uh, that is, to say, the Hall of Heroes seems an appropriate spot. I'll go with you so I can properly greet...
GOAT: After such a journey, I'm sure Master Yao would prefer to rest.
[The goats carry off Yao.]
SHIFU: Of course, and under no circumstances are any of you to disturb Master Yao, or his box.
[Po raises his hand.]
SHIFU: Especially you.
[In the Hall of Warriors, Po passes Shifu's room when he hears Shifu speaking.]
SHIFU: Why, yes, we do work great together.
[Po peeks in to see Shifu playing with action figures of himself and Yao in his box.]
SHIFU: (Mimicking Yao) Master Shifu, I know all the secrets of Kung Fu, but it was you who taught me friendship. (Normal) And you've taught me something too.
SHIFU: (Mimicking Yao) Really? And what is that?
PO: Action figures?
[Shifu is startled when he hears Po. Shifu tenses up.]
PO: You're playing with action figures?! That... is awesome!
[Shifu loosens up.]
PO: Hang on, let me get mine!
[Po heads for the exit, but Shifu gets in front of him.]
SHIFU: No, these are not action figures. They're... artifacts. I'm simply dusting them off.
[Po looks at the figure of the meditation box.]
PO: This is an artifact?
SHIFU: Yes, it's Master Yao in his transportation box. It's extremely hard to find.
PO: Rookie move. Shouldn't've taken it out of the original packaging.
SHIFU: This is just the box I... play with. I also have a Master Yao in a box, in it's original box, in the closet... in a box.
PO: [Laughs.] Boxes. Still don't get it.
SHIFU: Panda, please.
PO: That's cool, I know how it is to wanna let loose, break a few rules, and play with your action figures!
SHIFU: I do not play with...
PO: I know, I know, I get it. You get to hang with a hero of yours. That's me, here, everyday! Just keep embracing your inner Po and let it be more on your... outer area... there.
[Shifu groans. Po slowly backs away and leaves.
Shifu walks into the Hall of Warriors and sneaks up to Master Yao's box, he holds a plate of food.]
SHIFU: Uh, Master Yao, I brought you some bean cakes in case you're hungry.
[Shifu sets the plate down in front of the box and walks away. He then turns back and pushes the plate closer to the box.]
SHIFU: Sorry for bothering you.
[The box suddenly shakes.]
SHIFU: Did you say something? Because I could open the box.
[Shifu waits for a response, but there is none.]
SHIFU: Right, you're right.
[Shifu backs away, only to come right back.]
SHIFU: You're sure you're alright? Maybe I should open the box. You could have hit your head in transit and no one would know and... But let me put it this way, if you don't not want me to not open it, just say so.
[Shifu gets no response.]
SHIFU: Very well then, as you wish.
[Shifu opens the box.]
SHIFU: Master Yao, it's an honor.
[Shifu bows to Yao.]
YAO: Master Shifu.
SHIFU: You know my name?
YAO: I know everything.
SHIFU: Oh, Master Yao, this is dream come true! I can't tell you...
[Yao reaches his arm out toward Shifu and begins rubbing his face.]
SHIFU: What are you doing?
YAO: So fuzzy! Ahh, bean cakes!
[Yao scarfs down the plate of bean cakes.]
SHIFU: Yes, I made them for you.
YAO: I've been locked away for so long! So many things to see and touch and... Ooh, look at that!
[Yao runs out of the box and feels the floor. Shifu is surprised at Yao's behavior.]
YAO: Just feel this floor, oh, it's incredible!
SHIFU: Oh, if you like that I have a throw rug in my room that...
[Yao runs up to Master Flying Rhino's Armor.]
YAO: Look at that armor! [Gets in the armor.] Ah, that's cold.
[The armor falls as Yao runs over to a set of candles.]
YAO: Ow, that's hot!
[Yao touches the Sword of Heroes and gets cut.]
[Yao touches a painting.]
YAO: Ooh, soft!
[Yao climbs on the golden dragon statue.]
[Yao licks the Urn of Whispering Warriors.]
[Yao hits the Golden Shield like a gong. Yao jumps in the Moon Pool.]
YAO: Ooh, I love this!
SHIFU: Perhaps I shouldn't have disturbed you.
YAO: Look, a door!
[Yao runs out the door.]
[Shifu slips on a bean cake and falls into the meditation box. The box closes and locks itself, trapping Shifu.]
SHIFU: No! Master Yao? Oh, no, no, no, no!
[The box falls over.]
[End of Act 1]
[Shifu remains trapped in the meditation box with no one around.]
SHIFU: Hello. Hello! [Sighs.]
[Shifu shakes the box in an attempt to escape. The door is heard opening.]
SHIFU: Is someone there?
[Po begins entering the Hall.]
PO: Master Yao, I uh, sorry. Shifu said I wasn't to disturb you, or your box.
[Po approaches the box.]
SHIFU: I am Shifu.
PO: Wow, that is wild, you sound just like him! Can you yell "panda" all angry-like?
SHIFU: (Angry) Panda!
PO: You, sir, have a gift.
SHIFU: Open the box, it's me!
[Po lifts the box and opens it. The door swings open and knocks him down.]
SHIFU: Where is he?! Where'd he go?!
PO: What happened?!
SHIFU: I opened the box and he went crazy! He's gone! I lost Master Yao!
PO: You lost Master Yao? You messed up. Shifu actually messed up!
SHIFU: No I didn't, I...
PO: Oh yeah, you did! You messed up big time!
SHIFU: I did not mess up!
PO: Trust me, if anyone knows about messing up, it's me, and what we got here is one dužy of a mess up.
SHIFU: I... [Sighs.] You're right, I need help, but, wait a minute, you do know a lot about messing up.
PO: Kind of a hobby.
SHIFU: Po, if anyone can help me, I can't believe I'm saying this, it's you.
[Po is surprised.]
SHIFU: Po, I need your help.
[Po is left speechless.]
PO: Shifu messes up and asks me for help in the same day!
PO: [Clears his throat.] Course I'll help you.
[Po picks up Shifu.]
PO: Shifu and the Dragon Warrior, together! Solving crimes and...
[Shifu jumps out of Po's grip when Po mimics Kung Fu moves.]
PO: ...stopping bad guys.
SHIFU: We're not solving crimes, we're just looking for Master Yao.
[Po cracks his knuckles.]
PO: And now the student becomes the master.
SHIFU: What do we do?!
PO: First, we panic.
PO: Check. Next, get a snack.
[Po picks up two bean cakes and hands one to Shifu.]
PO: Third, tell no one. Try to fix it yourself before anyone finds out and calls you an "idiot panda".
TIGRESS: Master Shifu.
[The Five arrive in the Hall and begin approaching Po and Shifu. Shifu quickly closes the meditation box.]
SHIFU: Nothing! I need you all to guard Master Yao's box... which he is in... as is expected... of him... to be.
[Shifu runs outside. Po follows Shifu, before leaving, he gives the Five a thumbs up. The two look down at the valley from the top of the steps.]
SHIFU: The keeper of the secrets of Kung Fu, out there alone and defenseless.
PO: Well, he's not totally defenseless, he's a Kung Fu master.
SHIFU: Of the mind, not the body.
[Down in the village, a Qidan Clan buffalo walks over to Temutai, who is poorly hidden behind a cart.]
'BUFFALO: Bad news, Temutai, we tracked Master Yao, like you said, but now he rests in the Jade Palace.
TEMUTAI: Ah, now we'll NEVER GET HIM! Shifu never be stupid enough to let the master out of his sight.
[Master Yao is seen riding in a cart down the steps on Jade Mountain.]
TEMUTAI: That's him! We will capture Master Yao. And all the secrets of Kung Fu WILL BE MINE!
[Shifu and Po see Yao speeding down the mountain.]
SHIFU: Master Yao!
PO: You'll crash!
[Master Yao reaches the bottom of the mountain and claps. The clap causes the cart to stop and Yao steps out and walks away.]
PO: The Clap of Stillness.
[Po looks at Shifu.]
SHIFU: I mean, impressive.
[Po and Shifu head toward the village. They arrive near Yao, who is laying in a cart of apples.]
YAO: That's wonderful!
SHIFU: Master Yao.
[Temutai walks up to the group.]
TEMUTAI: Shifu and the Dragon Warrior!
PO: Temutai and unnamed thug.
YAO: Ooh, introductions, wonderful!
[Temutai throws a hit. Shifu blocks it and holds Yao protectively.]
SHIFU: Get your hands off this flawless specimen of Kung Fu perfection!
[Po looks at Shifu and shakes his head.]
PO: Let the butt kicking commence!
[Po takes a stance.]
TEMUTAI: Fine, but it is your butt THAT WILL BE KICKED!
[Temutai prepares to attack when Shifu stops him by hitting him and his comrade with a wooden plank and knocking them out.]
SHIFU: Where'd Master Yao go?!
[Po and Shifu run over to Yao, who is looking into the mouth of a rhino.]
YAO: Oh, look at those teeth, [Sticks his head further in.] and that breath is magnificently awful. [Coughs and gags.] I love it!
[Yao runs over to a pig lady and eats some of her apples.]
YAO: Your apples are more delicious than anything I have tasted in sixty-five years!
[Yao begins kissing the pig lady.]
YAO: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
[A duck walks over and gets angry.]
DUCK: That's my wife!
[The duck gets in a fighting position.]
YAO: Ooh, he's so angry!
[Shifu runs over to stop the attack. He gets in front of Yao.]
SHIFU: No, he doesn't...
[The duck punches Shifu in the face.]
SHIFU: ...know what he's doing.
[Shifu looks up to notice Yao is gone.]
SHIFU: Master Yao! He could be anywhere!
[Po looks around and sees a band playing music.]
PO: Then, we'll draw him out. Rule number eight: sometimes the chaser has to become the chase-e.
[Po walks over to the band.]
SHIFU: I... have no response to that.
PO: Master Yao's about experiencing sight and sounds, right. Then that's just what we're gonna give him. Hit it!
[The band starts playing music as Po dances. The performance attracts the attention of the villagers as well as Master Yao.]
PO: [Scatting.] ...two, three... [scatting.]
[Shifu is shocked at Po's dancing.]
YAO: What is that wonderful music?
[Shifu walks through the cheering crowd.]
SHIFU: Panda, stop this instant! We're wasting time!
PO: Wasting time like a fox! Look who's here.
[Yao approaches dancing excitedly. He dances in sync with Po.]
SHIFU: Master Yao, thank goodness! Now please, we must get you back into your box.
YAO: Oh, certainly, right after you dance. Dance, Shifu! Dance!
[Yao tries to make Shifu dance. Shifu looks around at everyone dancing.]
BUNNY: Yay! Yay!
[Shifu continues looking around.]
BUNNY 2: Yeah, alright.
[Shifu continues looking around.]
SHIFU: ...rather not.
[The band stops playing and a silence falls over the crowd.]
YAO: Ah, what a huge disappointment.
SHIFU: I'm sorry, Master Yao, it's just that...
[Master Yao disappears again.]
SHIFU: Master Yao? Master Yao!
[Yao is taken away in a rickshaw by Temutai and his comrade.]
YAO: I'm going somewhere!
SHIFU: Master Yao, no!
[Po and Shifu chase after Temutai. They near the rickshaw.]
TEMUTAI: Come on, you're almost there.
[The rickshaw jumps forward.]
TEMUTAI: No, just kidding! [Laughs.]
[The rickshaw is pulled around a thin path on a mountain, next to a cliff. Po jumps forward and gets dragged . Shifu jumps on Po's back to walk forward toward Temutai.]
PO: Ow, legs.
[Shifu attacks Temutai. Temutai throws Shifu onto Po's back.]
PO: Ow, back.
YAO: This is so dramatic, I love it.
[Temutai steps on Po's hand.]
PO: Ow, fingers!
[The rickshaw makes a sharp turn, dangling Po and Shifu over the cliff. Temutai kicks Po and Shifu, knocking them off the cliff.]
[End of Act 2]
[Po and Shifu continue falling until they are stopped by some trees.]
PO: Looks like it's time for checklist number two.
SHIFU: Checklist number two?!
PO: Yeah, for when you try to fix the problem you cause, but wind up making it worse. First, blame someone else. Second...
SHIFU: I blame you!
PO: Now you're getting the hang of it. No?
[The branch, supporting Shifu, snaps and he falls onto the ground below. The branch, supporting Po, snaps and he falls on top of Shifu.]
PO: Master Shi-...
[Shifu kicks Po off of him and gets up.]
SHIFU: This is your fault! Thanks to you, Master Yao is in grave danger!
PO: Hey, I'm not the one who let Yao out of the box. All I've tried to do is help and you've been fighting me the whole way! So, do you want my help or not, Master?
[Shifu's yell causes Po to fall back.]
SHIFU: Enough of this foolishness! Now we go with the Shifu Checklist. Number one: we follow those cart tracks, and go get Master Yao.
[Later that night, Po and Shifu arrive at the Qidan Clan's fortress. They look over a brick wall and see several buffalo, including Temutai carrying an axe.]
SHIFU: We'll break the area into a grid and search every square inch.
PO: Or we could just...
SHIFU: I've had enough of your ideas.
PO: Fine, but... Err... [Points.]
[Yao is revealed to be shackled upsidedown on a column, in plane sight. Temutai approaches him.]
TEMUTAI: Tell me the secrets of KUNG FU!
YAO: Oh, your horns are so pointy! Can I touch them?
SHIFU: What have I done?!
PO: Oh, relax, Yao won't say anything.
YAO: If I tell you, they won't be secret. Where's the fun in that?
PO: Told ya'.
TEMUTAI: Very well, if I can't have the secrets, then NO ONE WILL! You have till morning to change your mind, otherwise, your head goes bye-bye!
[Temutai strikes the axe next to Yao. Yao sees his reflection in the blade.]
YAO: [Laughs.] Neat!
[Some time later, Po and Shifu sneak into the fortress. They are surrounded by sleeping guards.]
SHIFU: (Quietly) Just stay close... and... don't do what you'd normally do.
[Po and Shifu walk up to a sleeping Yao.]
SHIFU: (Quietly) Master Yao, with your permission, we'd like to rescue you now. Master Yao? Master Yao?
[Yao opens his eyes.]
YAO: Ah, fuzzy!
[Shifu tenses up when Yao speaks loudly.]
PO: (Quietly) Any chance we can get the show on the road here?
BUFFALO: What's the rush? Can't you see they're having a moment?
[Three buffalo guard stare at Po, Shifu, and Yao. A buffalo lifts his mace. Shifu swiftly kicks the buffalo into the other two. Po grabs Yao.]
SHIFU: This way!
[The three begin running until they bump into Temutai. Temutai grabs Yao and holds a sword up to him.]
TEMUTAI: Your feeble rescue attempt IS FOILED!
[Yao touches the sword.]
[The next morning, Po, Shifu, and Yao are shackled to a pillar.]
SHIFU: I'm so sorry about this, Master. This is the worst day of my life.
YAO: Did you know the Hibiscus Flower only lasts for one day? But that day is an amazingly beautiful day. Thanks to you, today was that day for me. Today, I really lived.
SHIFU: And now, you might really die.
TEMUTAI: Now, are you ready TO TALK?!
YAO: Of course, lets talk about these shackles, they're exquisite!
TEMUTAI: I want the secrets of Kung Fu!
YAO: And I want your outfit!
TEMUTAI: Fine then, you can take the secrets with you... TO THE GRAVE! Summon the EXECUTIONER!
[A buffalo sharpens an axe. Po gulps as the executioner approaches.]
SHIFU: Panda, we have to do something!
PO: Oh, you're asking me for advice.
SHIFU: I-I'm sorry, Po. I shouldn't've yelled at you before.
PO: Oh, it's okay, I guess I wasn't much help. I was just tryin' to get you to, you know, loosen up.
YAO: Oh, this is sweet.
[Temutai sits down on his throne.]
TEMUTAI: Any last requests? Perhaps some tearful sniffling or pointless pleas for your lives?!
[The executioner holds up the axe.]
SHIFU: Yes, I have a last request. I'd... like to... dance.
[Temutai is shocked.]
TEMUTAI: I... did not see that coming.
PO: You ain't the only one.
SHIFU: Please, I owe it to Master Yao, and myself.
TEMUTAI: So, instead of getting the secrets of Kung Fu, I get to watch you humiliate yourself before your UNTIMELY DEMISE?!
SHIFU: Something like that.
TEMUTAI: I'm in! Make sure his wrists STAY BOUND!
[A guard approaches the prisoners.]
YAO: Ha, now we're getting to the good part.
PO: Shifu, kind of a funny time to let loose, but, yeah! Are... you sure about this?
[Shifu is carried away from the pillar, still chained at the wrists.]
SHIFU: Yes, all I need from you is some music.
[Shifu is placed down.]
[Po starts scatting. Shifu pulls out a fan and starts dancing. The Qidan watch with their jaws dropped. As Shifu dances, Po looks closely and sees him slip his hands out of the cuffs. Po begins scatting louder. Shifu finishes dancing and Po stops scatting. A guard starts clapping, dropping his spear. Temutai glares at the guard and he stops clapping and grabs his spear.]
TEMUTAI: I think that's ENOUGH!
SHIFU: Wait, I'm just starting to loosen up.
[Shifu throws the fan at Temutai. Temutai ducks and the fan sticks into the chair behind his head. .]
TEMUTAI: Oh, I see what you did. HE'S FREE!
[A guard swings an axe at Shifu. The guard misses, getting it stuck in the ground. Shifu quickly breaks the axe and kicks the guard. He then throws the axe blade at Po's shackles and sets him free.]
YAO: That was so dangerous, love it!
PO: Be right back, time for the big finish.
[Po aids Shifu in the battle. Po and Shifu knockout several guards, before grouping up.]
PO: Pretty sweet idea.
SHIFU: Just channeling my inner Po.
[A group of buffaloes charge toward Po and Shifu. They are quickly knocked out and sent toward Temutai, knocking him down. Po and Shifu take stances. Temutai quickly get up, causing a the pile of buffaloes on him to thrown.]
TEMUTAI: [Scream.] Congratulations, you've ruined dance for me FOREVER! Now, SUMMON THE REINFORCEMENTS!
[Several more guards run into the fortress and surround Po and Shifu.]
SHIFU: I don't suppose you have something on your checklist for this.
PO: Blame Crane?
[Po and Shifu back up towards Yao.]
YAO: Well, well, you're quite the dancer, fuzzy. Don't you feel better now?
SHIFU: Yes, Master. I do.
[All of the guards run towards the three. Suddenly, Yao's eyes glow bright gold. All of the guards stop dead in their tracks, then a large shockwave emanates from Yao and hits all of the guards. The light settles and Yao is free.]
SHIFU: Master, how...
YAO: I did the Eight-Armed Yangtze Spleen Punch, with my mind.
[Po looks around at the fallen guards.]
PO: Whoa, cool! But, couldn't you have done that, you know, before?
YAO: And miss out on all that fun?
[The three arrive at the Jade Palace and enter the Hall of Warriors. Po carries Yao to his box. Yao climbs inside.]
SHIFU: So, I guess this is goodbye.
YAO: Thank you both for such an exhilarating day!
[Shifu bows to Yao.]
YAO: Oh, and, fuzzy, remember the Hibiscus, live each day as if it were your only one to live.
SHIFU: I will, master. I promise.
YAO: Good, I'm very proud of you. Back to meditating, I love it!
[Yao closes the box. Po sniffles. Shifu turns and looks at Po.]
PO: What?! It was touching.
SHIFU: I think it would be best if we kept this entire incident quiet.
PO: Sure, as long as you let me play with your Yao action figure in authentic traveling box.
SHIFU: I have no idea what you're talking about.
[Shifu begins walking away. He does a short dance move and continues walking.]
[End of Act 3]
[End of Transcript]